Mommy confidence is a funny kind of confidence
Lights, camera & action! Needless to say that a photoshoot with 3 little toddlers running around is a little more complex than that. It's more like lights, wipes, bibs, nappies, pacifiers, teddies, toys, something sweet, nursery rhymes, baby shark, coochy cooooo, camera and.... action! And even then, you have no idea how your little mini-models will act in front of the camera on the day.
Earlier this year Sanne Daphne joined us on set with her beautiful little girl Lize, for the photoshoot of our Winter Rainbow and Classics collection. Her day with Lize turned out a little different than she expected but she shared a great piece with us on what that day taught her about "Mommy Confidence" and the importance of a mothers role. Happy reading!
You know that moment as a mommy that all the kids around you are doing exactly what is expected from them? They are being all adorable and sweet and listening well and all the parents are speaking proudly about their own kids. And exactly in that moment that the moms are all discussing how cute and lovely their kids are, your child has decided to do the complete opposite. Your kid has decided to cry and not listen to what you are asking. Your child starts doing everything that is not handy in that moment. Well that’s what our little Lize did when we went to the Marshmallow & Me photoshoot.
Lize had already tried on Marshmallow & Me clothing before and she was super excited and enjoyed every second trying on the samples Jade has bought along. She posed for the photos and even smiled at the camera every now and again. People passing by also came to have a quick look and one person after the other made a comment about how cute Lize looked and how great the clothing looked on her. Lize enjoyed the attention and how nice the clothing looked on her. As a proud mommy I stood there and enjoyed watching my daughter doing exactly what was expected of her. Showing the outside world how loving and sweet she was.
Lize decided to do something completely different for the photoshoot though. When we arrived, everything was ok. Lize talked to the people around her. In the photo studio she put on the clothing Jade gave her and was super excited. She said “wow and nice” proud of what she was wearing and started playing a bit on set while we were waiting.
The other parents, kids and the photographer arrived and started getting dressed and set up. I’m not sure what Lize was thinking when all this happened but her behaviour changed immediately. She got quiet and had a very alert look in her big blue eyes. She came to sit close to me and wouldn’t let me go. She held me tight and looked for assurance in me and her pacifier. When it was time to take photos of Lize the waterworks started – big round tears dripped down her cheeks. She didn’t want to get near the set or smile for the camera. Every time we tried; she would start crying again.
In that moment I felt my confidence slip away – what had I done wrong. I had said that Lize could do this and given the impression that Lize loved being in front of the camera and now she wouldn’t do anything. Especially in the moments that the other kids were laughing and being cute, I started doubting if I was a good mom and if I was raising my kids well. The photographer and Jade were calm, patient and confident that all would work out. We took photos in the moments that Lize was on the set and complimented her (and me) every time we kept trying and during the good moments and shots. Because those were there too!
What stands out to me is that your “mommy confidence” is a funny kind of confidence. It’s a confidence that doesn’t always make sense and is sometimes fueled by the people around you and the picture of the “perfect child”. And that perfect child just doesn’t exist! You can’t program kids and make them do what you want them to do for the outside world. Kids don’t do things because it is or isn’t expected from them. And their behaviour toward the outside world definitely does not determine your competence as a mother.
A mother is…
A mother is the person her child feels safe with. The one that loves her and prepares her food for her. A mother loves her child no matter what happens or what her child does. A mother looks after her child when sick and is the one up at night with them when their dreams wake them, or they can’t sleep. A mother is the one that kisses her child’s knee when they fall and reads that same story 100 times over. A mother helps her child get to know the world around her and become independent.
During the photoshoot my daughter showed me exactly what she needed from me. She needed safety and security, because all the new people around her and the new situation made her nervous. She needed love from her own mother; to let her know that all was ok, and she loved her no matter what. All of that I could give her, in that moment that she needed it.
Now I look back at the photo’s that were taken and there are more beautiful pictures than I thought there would be. And the thing I love the most is that Lize is on the photo’s exactly as she is. As the beautiful, loving and sometimes cheeky daughter that I love so very much.
Written with ♡ by Sanne - one of our mommy friends!
Mother to 3 beautiful children (Zara Esther 7, Daan Ezra 5 & Lize Ava 1) that believes raising kids is fun, even when it doesn’t always feel that way ;) Sanne is an internal supervisor at a primary school and also has her own mommy blog zomoederzodochters.
Thank you Sanne for your persistency and patience on set and for sharing so openly and honestly. See some stunning pics of Lize in Marshmallow & Me below.
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